40 days of prayer

I was dog sick in bed all morning and afternoon with the flu. My temperature spiked a bit and I could not keep any solid foods down. But when 5 o'clock rolled around, I gathered the strength to pick up the kids, fix them dinner, and welcomed my husband home. I planned on rolling back into bed for a nap but Jeff insisted I accompany him and the kids to the 40 Days of Prayer service in Peoria. The mayor asked the city to pray for the decrease of crime in Peoria to kick off the new year.
I'm so glad I went. It uplifted my spirit to be surrounded by my church family and even unfamiliar faces who gathered together to ask the Lord to do a mighty work in our community. We asked God to strengthen marriages and families throughout the city; we prayed for our children (Max and Laney were seated next to us, bored to tears I'm sure); we asked the Lord to remove moral barriers that keep people in bondage on the streets, cleaving to drugs and prostitution for a quick fix to try to satisfy their deeper needs. I fell in love with Jeff all over again listening to such eloquent words roll off this tongue, asking the Lord's hand in redeeming the brokenness in people's hearts as a result of rampant sin.
I'm so encouraged that the Peoria Police Chief is a faithful member of our church and is such a phenomenal spiritual head in his home. He's a man of integrity and compassion who cares deeply about those he serves and protects. He reported that so far, there have been no homicides in the River City. Praise God for that. This wasn't the case last year and the number of homicides climbed to a whopping 16. I've covered so many homicides in 2007...I was desensitized to seeing body bags roll out of run-down homes...kids killing kids in ignorance. I do pray that the Lord breaks the cycles of sin, hate and poverty that chain so many to the enemy...there is hope if we fix our eyes and hearts on Him.

Memorizing Scripture

I just started teaching Sunday school this year. I love interacting with kids and the challenge of getting them excited about the Lord. To kick off each class I normally have the kids collectively recite their memory verse of the month. In January we're focusing on the virtue of orderliness, so our memory verse is: "Be very careful then how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity," Ephesians 5:15-16.
Since we've entered the third weekend of January and the kids have known this verse all month, I thought I'd call on them individually to recite their verse. But no one--with the exception of Delaney--knew the verse my heart. I was shocked. I asked, "Don't your parents go over the verses with you?" No, they responded in chorus. I asked if they prayed with their parents before bedtime or did devotionals together. Again, they answered in the negative. My heart sunk.
We then grouped the older kids with the younger kids during drama. The leader asked who could recite their memory verse and Max and Delaney's hands shot up. Max can't even read but he knows his memory verses by heart because his Daddy makes him recite them every night before he goes to sleep. This just gave me a new appreciation for Jeff as the spiritual leader of our home.
Chuck Swindoll and Dallas Willard wrote that Bible memorization is fundamental to spiritual formation. And it's especially critical for our children's minds to be filled with the Word of God during a time when their minds are sponges, soaking in influences that may not always be the best for them.
Max and Laney know they're loved by their family. But most importantly, they know they're loved by the Lord. And I'm hoping that with every Bible verse committed to their memory and every prayer spoken from their lips to God's ears, that they develop a firm faith that withstands all the winds of change that blow through their lives.

The Future

“… But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:13b-14

Jeff earned a Gold Star as a husband today. This week my spirit just felt heavy from all the burdens and baggage of our life. Sometimes it's hard for me to feel enthused about the future when the present is such a struggle. Anyway, when Jeff returned home from his lunch break--I don't know if he was just happy to see me out of my bathrobe or what--but he just swept me up and kept kissing me until I was out of breath and repeated how much he loved me and how happy he was to build our life together. He said, "I just can't wait to enjoy an amalgam of kids with my favorite person. It's gonna be great. It's already great." It's certainly a complicated, unusual situation, but he's right. It's gonna be great.

The other night I got together with a couple of women from church. We talked about our challenges and family life. I shared my struggles...My marriage would be perfect, I insisted--minus the baggage and extra stuff. "But what a testimony you will have to offer broken and blended families," shared a friend. "You've got to focus on being the light of Christ for others." She's right. When you're dealing with the seemingly impossible and people see that and know that...and yet you reign victorious and joyful in Christ, people notice. And our living testimonies are such a powerful driving force to bring people to Christ before they even pick up the Good Book itself.

Loyalty

The word "loyal" comes from the same Hebrew word as "firm." The Psalmists continuously refer to the Lord as a firm place to stand...a rock...a steadfast refuge from the storm. I've been meditating on the word "loyal" recently...What does it mean and how does it play out in my life?
I think it means that you make up your mind in advance that no matter what happens, you'll be faithful. In your mind you're decided on a response to inevitable temptation.
A loyal spouse doesn't wait until someone hits on him or her to choose to deny the advance. That decision should've been made in his or her heart & mind long before such a scenario arose.
I've had people betray me and not keep promises made. I'm experiencing the ripple effects of disloyalty in my life. There's not a whole lot you can do to repair broken trust. It's gone in an instant and it can take years to build back up.
I could not lean on the Lord for all understanding if I didn't trust Him, if He didn't prove Himself faithful to me every day. I have full faith in the Lord that no matter what happens I can stand firm in Him and His promises that He'll never forsake me.
I'm lucky to have a few people in my life who've proven themselves loyal...I found myself in a mess this summer and needed to escape. In an instant, my mother booked my ticket home. It was a financial stretch...but cost didn't play a factor for her. She came through for me without question. Meanwhile I returned the favor by eloping with someone who did not earn my family's trust. It sure stung, but they still stood by me and celebrated my hasty decision by offering us an all-expense paid vacation to the islands.
It was a wonderful time and Jeff got to meet my grandparents. When I hugged them goodbye, my grandfather turned to Jeff and said, "You better take care of her. If you don't, she knows she can always come home. I'll take care of everything." I know they've got my back, no matter what careless decisions I make. I'm certain of my family's unconditional support and love and I'm so grateful for their example.

The Bucket List

A couple of friends and I saw "The Bucket List," a movie in which two men with terminal cancer try to accomplish their lifetime dreams before they die. It was a pretty moving story. It made me think about what I want to do before I die. Here's my list so far:

1. Return to Israel
2. Enjoy a cruise with girlfriends from church
3. Serve a mission with Jeff
4. Give birth twice
5. Go on safari with Jeff
6. Retire in Hawaii
7. Dive w/ sharks with Laney
8. Write a book
9. Grow a vegetable garden
10. Drive from coast to coast across America with my husband
11. Enjoy a meal with Amy Grant
12. Tour Europe
13. See the seven wonders of the world
14. Make a significant contribution to my church and/or a non-profit organization
15. Live abroad. I'll let Jeff choose the place.

Beer

It's official: My life revolves around beer.
I bought Jeff a beer-making kit for his birthday. Big mistake. Big. I abhor the substance but Jeff drinks it daily. Can't live without his liquid bread, he says. Well, now he can't go to bed without checking in on his 5-gallon recepticle of homemade ale. Last night I wanted to crank down the heat in our home and just use a space heater in our bedroom to keep warm. It's cost-effective. "We can't!" protested Jeff. "The beer needs to ferment at a warm temperature."
It's the first thing he checks on before he greets his wife upon his return home from work. Tonight, HE EVEN WRAPPED A BLANKET AROUND THE BEER CONTAINER! He's never even done that for me! :)
He checks its bubbling levels several times a day...I just can't wait 'till it's bottled so I can get my husband's attention back!

Duplicity

"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity." (Proverbs 11:3)

The most engaging conversation I enjoyed with Jeff all week centered on the subject of duplicity... How someone seemingly innocent and sweet on the surface can mask impure heart motives with a duplicitous persona. It's a scary thing. Things just aren't what they seem. Most of us have fallen victim to someone who's deceived us in some way. And a lot of us (myself included) have at times manipulated our personalities to suit our needs for the moment or to please people who just aren't worth pleasing.
More than anything I want to be a woman of my word, a person who conducts life with integrity. But it's so hard. I've been guilty of putting on airs to impress people and I can't always say that my motives for even serving the Lord are always pure. My sin is a desire for recognition which stems from vanity. I'm blessed with a husband who really doesn't care what people think. With Jeff, what you see is what you get. As long as he's right with the Lord, he doesn't feel a need to defend himself or get approval. I think that's where true freedom lies.
This year, I want to take one step closer to integrity and one step away from duplicity.

Mood

I am the biggest Beth Moore nut. I just think her wild passion for God coupled with her wicked sense of humor creates quite the sword to fight Satan's attacks.
In an effort to lift myself from the muck of depression I've been sinking into since my return to Peoria, I listened to an online teaching by Ms. Moore. For those of you who are interested the link is below:

http://www.lifetoday.org/site/PageServer?pagename=bth_media

I'm paying heed to the "Life Quakes" series...Beth reminded me that while my circumstances leave my wanting sometimes, I've got a choice to change my mood. I can choose to confirm my misery in verbal repetition or praise the Lord to celebrate the greatness of God. A life hasn't changed without a day being changed first.

New Year's Resolutions

My Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for 2008 are:

1. Consult a financial planner to get my family back on track
2. Be an organized, prayerful Sunday School teacher
3. Complete at least one Beth Moore Bible study--I've participated in a bunch of her studies with no follow through
4. Take a daily multi-vitamin
5. Not assuming burdens that aren't mine to bear
6. Invest in healthy, God-centered friendships and say good-bye to those that are toxic
7. Keep in regular, consistent touch with my family in Hawaii
8. Reserve one night a week just for me--whether it's to go out with friends, enjoy alone time in a bookstore or quiet time in a corner...I find myself resentful of my situation when I neglect my needs
9. Pray with Jeff at least five nights a week.
10. Read the Bible from cover to cover...I did this about two years ago and it was a wonderful experience. I still don't know the Word well enough. I need to do it again!

Happy 2008

"In the New Year, may your right hand be stretched out in friendship but never in want." --Old Irish Toast

Jeff and I rung in 2008 surrounded by our dear friends. As we counted down the seconds to say good-bye to 2007, I looked around the room and tried to drink in the deep friendships that have found their way into my heart in the past several months. On this New Year's Day my heart is bursting with gratitude for friendships that are founded in Christ and extended in loving kindness. I would not survive here in Peoria without the people I've met who keep me afloat on their raft of love.

I've been in such a funk upon my return from Hawaii. I miss the ocean, I miss the beauty and I miss my family. I burst into tears at a moment's notice and often feel ill equipped to manage the responsibilities that weigh down my life. But tonight as I reflected on all the miracles that have developed over time, the sweet relationships that have molded my heart for life, and looked at my dear husband...I felt really fortunate to have such rich blessings to count on.

This morning our family also welcomed a new addition--baby Brielle Elizabeth. Is that a beautiful name or what?! Her timing into the world comes at the perfect time for us to celebrate the miracle of new life.

I'm looking forward to all the blessings 2008 will bring!

God Bless!!!