On the next...Oprah

Wednesday morning at 7:15 a.m., Amber and I drove to Chicago to attend the 11am taping of an Oprah Show. I've been calling for tickets on and off for the past year but could never get through the phone line. I've heard it's either busy for hours on end or you get right through after calling. Well, I saw on her website that last-minute reservations for an August taping were available so I emailed and asked for two tickets and I was out of my mind thrilled to get them!
We got to the studio at about 10:15, waited in line and went through security until noon...then waited another hour for them to escort us into the studio for the taping. While waiting, I met the most interesting people who flew from Ohio, Florida, and a family who drove from Indiana to attend this taping! One woman stood up after the show and said she WALKED FROM FLORIDA and called her trek "Destination Oprah." Unbelievable.
Well, before the show, I pumped the woman next to me for information on the show's topic. This woman had her friend at Harpo hook up her tickets so I knew she must know something! She was sworn to secrecy not to tell but finally confessed that it was about cheating husbands. Specifically, the show was called, "WHY MEN CHEAT." Ugh. My heart sunk at the downer of a topic.

But when I walked through the doors of her studio, I was in awe. It's a lot smaller than you think it'd be. And Oprah looks great in person. The setting feels really intimate. It's surreal to be sitting in a place you're so familiar with on television. The author of "The Truth About Cheating" was interviewed after conducting research on the emotional roots of male infidelity. He specializes in divorce prevention and wanted to equip women with ways to prevent their husbands from straying and also discern the signs that their husbands may be cheating.
Couples on the show shared heartbreaking stories of infidelity. Since my father cheated on my mother...and I married someone whose wife had an affair...I felt uncomfortable by some of what people shared. Amber and I tensed up during taping. One woman shared that she and her husband were married 18 years and had two kids. They become great friends with another couple...and her husband ran away with the other woman she had become so close to. You need to be so careful about having boundaries even with couple-friends.
Anyway, we decided in the end that it was a wonderful experience and it's always good to get tips on improving your marriage. We did leave with one concrete tip: Create an appreciation list for your husband--even for things he's expected to do. Verbalize or show appreciation with a thoughtful gesture at least three times a week. For 92 percent of men in America, cheating is not primarily about sex. It's about their desire to feel appreciated.
That's not to say that cheating is ever justified. There's no excuse for such base behavior. Jeff knows full well that if he ever cheats, our marriage is over. I'd file divorce papers the next day after the discovery of infidelity. But I do want to work on strengthening our marriage so it never gets to that point.
To wrap up, I had a great time connecting with Amber on the way over and back from Chicago. The show fostered great discussion and it was a great life experience to check off on my list of 100 things I want to do before I die!

New Rules

For way too long I've been way too lenient with the kids. Jeff says I treat them more like my niece and nephew or grandkids than I do my own children. I give them treats all the time, buy them sugary breakfast foods, I wipe up their every spill and mess so they don't have to...and for goodness' sake I've been cleaning their rooms for them!
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! My desire for sanity at this point trumps my desire to be loved. This past week I've been preparing my family to help out more around the house so when I start working full time again in 2 weeks, it won't be such a shock.
These are some new rules I've decided to impose:
1. Everyone cleans their own dishes after use. I purchased new dinner sets for the kids--they each have their own cup, bowl and plate. After each meal they need to scrape the remaining food off their plates and clean their dishes in the sink.
2. The kids will not leave the house for school until their beds are made and spit from the sink is rinsed after brushing their teeth. Nothing grosses me out more than hardened remnants of spit lining the sink when I get up. Yuck! The rule at Jefferson School is that if kids show up later than 8:25, they miss recess. So the kids have an extra incentive to get their beds made and rinse the sink. And their rooms need to be picked up before they go to bed.
3. FLUSH THE TOILET! I can't believe this has to be a rule. But Max takes after his father and decided, "I really don't like to flush when I pee," he explained. Double yuck!
I thought of adding more chores like folding laundry, taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom, etc. but these kids aren't used to doing anything so I figured it's best to gradually ease them into doing little things around the house.
Last night I left Max alone in the kitchen when Jeff and I relaxed in the living room. He was in there about 5 minutes before Jeff said, "I don't he knows how to do dishes." I kind of took that for granted that he knew...so I went in to show him how to rinse off his plate and soap it up and rinse it again.
This morning, I thought it was hilarious that as soon as I woke up the kids to get dressed, they immediately made their beds before coming down for breakfast. Laney exclaimed, "We don't want to be late for school!" As I was making their lunches, they went upstairs to brush their teeth and I heard Max yell, "LANEY, RINSE YOUR SPIT FROM THE SINK! Catherine will be mad if she sees your Cheerios all over!" Laney yelled back, "I'LL RINSE IT OUT IF YOU FLUSH THE TOILET! FOR GOODNESS SAKE, YOU DON'T PEE RIGHT! LIFT THE LID SO IT DOESN'T GO EVERYWHERE!"
Kids...so much work, but sometimes so much fun.

Land of Lincoln

On Saturday, the city of Ottawa commemorated the 150th anniversary of the Lincoln-Douglas debates in Washington Square with a reenactment of the famous August 21, 1858 exchange in which the splitting values of the nation were personified in men known as “The Railsplitter” and “The Little Giant."
I dragged my unhappy husband out of bed at 7:15 this morning to accompany me to this event so I could do a write-up for the PJStar. I drove 2 hours to the venue while he read in the car...it was really peaceful actually to just spend a concentrated amount of time together. I wish I could have Jeff all to myself every day.
As for the event, a crowd of about 200 people showed up to witness the hour-long reenactment debate between Lincoln and Douglas, as portrayed by two actors who have spent decades preparing for the roles and even performing in Washington, D.C.

Truth be told, Jeff took a lot of fabulous pictures for me to submit to the PJStar because (a) he has a better eye than I do and (b) the Ottawa Visitors Society forced the media to participate in this reenactment and ask questions. I was mortified! But in the end it was fun and Jeff even said he had a good time. He perked up even more when we went to an authentic Mexican restaurant for lunch called "Mi Pueblo" located on 221 W. Madison. We ordered 5 tacos with guacamole, salsa and chips and Jeff got a draft beer--all for the whopping price of $9! Is that crazy? It was such a deal. I highly recommend that place if you're passing through Ottawa.

Sick

Jeff startled me today by opening the door at 2:30pm...returning four hours early from work. He never leaves work early and as laid-back as he can be, he's pretty vigilant about putting in his 40 hours a week. He simply said, "I feel like trash. I'm going to bed." He was out cold within 5 minutes. But after dinner he quickly resumed his normal position on the couch in front of the TV. He looks the same to me sick as when he's well.

In fact, Jeff was feeling fine enough by 7:30 to drag me to the Cornstock Theater Play, "On Golden Pond." He asked, "What kind of husband would I be if I didn't take my wife on a date?" To which I responded, "It's a free dress-rehearsal! I'll pay you to skip it!" But Jeff is a theater-maniac. However, by intermission he was tired and wanted to return home. I made him tank tons of juice...and I made him smoothies to get Vitamin C in his system. As an aside, I recommend the play for senior citizens but it's a little slow for the average person. And the quality of acting is much higher than the play's predecessor, "Chorus Line."

Back to School

Today was the first day of school for Max & Laney. Here's a picture of them in their new back-to-school outfits as they headed out the door early this morning. Aren't they darling? They were sugared up with Chocolate/Vanilla Pop Tarts. Since they're attending Jefferson School in Morton, they'll have to get up extra early when they're spending the night with us. Max reminded us five times that if they arrive at school past 8:25 a.m., they'll miss recess as punishment. So Jeff and I will be introducing a new rule in the house next week: They're not heading out the door until their beds are made, spit is cleared from the bathroom sink, and the toilet is flushed!
Tonight Laney and Max called to let us know they made new friends and love their new teachers. Laney didn't think Jefferson would beat her old school, Whittier, since she enjoyed her teacher and classmates so much...but her new school seems really promising.

Flowers

Jeff bought me the most beautiful flowers to congratulate me on my new job. The bouquet of Fuji Mums offers a burst of color on our dining room table. They're my new favorite flower--bold and exotic. They're highly noticeable and people either love them or hate them. I'm afraid that's what my new boss thinks the listening audience of WCIC will think about me--I may be a little too open and out there sometimes for a highly conservative audience and need to develop a strong gauge for sensitivity. I've been told to brace myself for critical attacks on seemingly insignificant things. During small group last night, Jeff prayed, "Dear Lord. Please give Catherine a family-friendly personality!" :) Yes Lord, please do!

The kids are sound asleep now after I sugared them up with brownies and M&Ms. I tried to make this a fun night for them...Laney has been begging me to rent Jaws 2 for the past year. I finally gave in and rented Jaws: the Revenge. (I think it's part 4 in the sequels). Within five minutes after the opening credits she asked us to pop out the DVD. We told her the minute she's too scared we could turn it off. She's so in love with sharks and routinely watches shark attacks on firm, I didn't think it would be a big deal but she opted to watch Dr. Doolittle instead. It's a good thing I rented a back-up.
I also offered to sleep downstairs in the living room with them and they were excited about the idea...but changed their minds at the last minute, preferring the comforts of their bed. I was very relieved!

I got a new job!

Rather than call everyone individually, I thought I'd just dash a quick blog that I've accepted a position at 91.5 WCIC Family Friendly Radio Station as the co-host of their morning show! As far as I know, it'll simply be called "The Morning Show With Scott & Catherine." Basically I'll just be playing music and sharing stories from my life. I should technically be starting Sept. 2 but our trip to Hawaii kind of threw things for a loop so my start date is still up in the air. Please pray that we'll be able to change our flight dates without much of a problem! I'm excited about this new opportunity...I think it'll be a lot of fun! Everyone at the station has been incredibly friendly and they're all such people of integrity. It'll surely be a nice change of pace from what I'm used to...but I will need extra prayers that the Lord will give me a jolt in the morning to get out of bed and greet the day...and to tame my tongue to only share stories and insights that are edifying and uplifting! :)
It'll be weird to have the kids tuck me into bed instead of me tucking them in!

Taste of Peoria

Jeff and I joined thousands of Peorians tonight at the Riverfront to enjoy the 27th annual Taste of Peoria. About 40-50 vendors from restaurants throughout the city offered some of their most popular dishes to a crowd of 20,000. The lines were crazy long...I waited at least 10-15 minutes to purchase a skewer of drunken steak from Johnny's Steakhouse. But it was grilled to medium rare perfection and absolutely delish! We spent a whopping $19 on admission and food and didn't get much in return but it was a festive place to be.

Jeff's favorite dish was "spicy chicken" from Than Lin, a thai restaurant located on Main Street in Peoria--I highly recommend this place. The food is pretty cheap, almost everything on the menu is healthy, and it's very tasty. Every dish was sold for either $1,$2, or $3 in appetizer sizes. Our salmon burger was a joke but everything else was wonderful. Now I'm trying to get Jeff to take me to Johnny's Steakhouse for a real meal! That sampler was not enough.

Pool party

This weekend we picked up a pool 12 feet in diameter and about 2 feet deep and plopped it in our backyard...I found it posted online from a woman wanting to get rid of it for free since it takes forever to inflate and it's hard to find the hole that's releasing air in order to patch it. Anyway, despite the downsides (it takes hours to fill and it's not as deep as Laney would like), the kids are in love with the pool. It creates a mess of water in the house when they come in and it's exhausting to fill it up but it keeps them happily occupied in our backyard for hours while I'm working and getting dinner ready. I wish we had a swing set or something fun they could play in with the neighborhood kids...I'm hoping to purchase one as soon as we move--if we ever do move!

Yea for Girls!

THANK HEAVEN
FOR LITTLE GIRLS...
FOR LITTLE GIRLS
GET BIGGER EVERY DAY...


THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS...
THEY GROW UP IN THE
MOST DELIGHTFUL WAY


THOSE LITTLE EYES
SO HELPLESS AND APPEALING
ONE DAY WILL FLASH AND
SEND YOU THROUGH THE CEILIN'



THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS,
THANK HEAVEN FOR THEM ALL
NO MATTER WHERE NO MATTER WHO
FOR WITHOUT THEM, WHAT WOULD LITTLE BOYS DO?

THANK HEAVEN...THANK HEAVEN...
THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS!

A Hairy Mess

This is not a bird's nest--it's a picture of about 3 pounds of hair I removed from my head today. Let me explain:
This morning I woke up with a bona fide migraine. I was so desperate to relieve the pain, I took two Excedrin Migraine tablets and flipped open the yellow pages to find a hairdresser. I was born with a full head of hair (when Jeff saw my baby pictures, he swore I was wearing a wig!) and I haven't gotten my hair cut in months. When I've got a headache I feel every ounce of hair on my head and it drives me crazy. I'm used to getting my hair done every 8 weeks at least but have really let myself go since I've been married. For one thing my husband has reigned in our budget like mad! That's when I realized, since we're trying to save money anyway, I might as well cut my hair myself. So I did. I took Jeff's shears out of the box and went to town. I lopped off 3 inches in length and thinned my hair as much as I could underneath. It was kind of fun and such a relief to get rid of so much weight! Thankfully my hair has lots of volume--the lighter it is, the higher it gets--so mistakes are easily concealed by the bigness of my hair. Anyway, that's my story for the day. You've gotta save $$$ where you can! Speaking of which, here's a picture of a gas station at sunset in Champaign...my relatives in Hawaii always ask what gas prices are here: $3.76 on average. It's harder and harder to raise kids when everything is so expensive!

S-U-R-R-E-N-D-E-R

On Sunday my father-in-law, Randy Hopkins, brought down the house and brought tears to me eyes as he preached a sermon entitled "SURRENDER: Okay, I Give Up!"--a message delivered straight from his heart to the congregation of Trinity Mennonite Church. I'll just summarize some of his points below although I wish I could streamline the sermon in a podcast form for you to hear. He really should preach every Sunday. Sorry, Dad, if I butcher some of your words to rehash your points! I did my best to take notes...


Salvation is the start of surrendering. (John 12:23-26).
Unpack struggles in your life that lead to stress. (We need to get deeper to the root of our problems and resist being band-aid Christians).
Release unrealistic expectations. (He never heard the words, "I love you" from his father even though he desperately wanted to but he had to let go of that expectation from ever happening, forgive, and move on).
Relinquish control of your life. (Dad spoke of IMPACT moments in his life, one of which recently occurred during a family member's funeral. Mom's niece in Michigan suffered the death of her baby and while Dad's mind was preoccupied with the practical hindrances of traveling there to attend the funeral (gas $$$, time, etc.), Mom wanted to go. Upon arrival, they realized the baby's father was not even present, but Mom's niece approached her and said, "Of all people, I knew you'd be here." At that moment Dad realized her niece saw Jesus in Mom and any thoughts of practical hindrances washed away.
Enlist scriptures to your mind. (The enemy isn't stupid and he'll put defeatist repetitions in your mind if it's not wall-papered with scripture. Boy do I know how true that is!)
Never trust in your own gifting.
Dare to believe God will take care of you.
Endure the hardships.
Responsibility for who we are. (Dad shared a story of meeting Franklin Graham and asking him to pray for him. Graham instructed him to surrender his requests to the Lord instead of having another person pray for his needs).

After the service, the kids and I talked about Dad's sermon. Laney said, "I'm surprised Grandpa would do that since he's kind of shy." I said, "Yeah, he's a lot like your Daddy." Laney responded, "No, Daddy is really talkative. He just talks, talks, and talks." I exclaimed, "Are you kidding me? I think your Daddy is definitely shy and not talkative." Laney said, "Trust me. I've been living with my Daddy for 9 years. I know he's a talker."
Well, I guess everything is a matter of perspective. Case in point: Max piped up, "I would hate to live in the middle of nowhere." I about died of laughter (as we passed a cornfield to drive to Monical's Pizza). I said, "Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but we do live in the middle of nowhere!" Too funny! I've got to take these kids to a city!

Baby Love

My heart about burst out of my chest this weekend as I held my beloved niece, Ali, for the first time since the 4th of July! I love this girl! She is beautiful...and brilliant. I promise you, it would not surprise me one bit if she opened her mouth said, "Pass the peas" over the dinner table. We played with her toy phone and as it rung, I swear Ali yelled, "I'll get it!" Amazing. Unbelievable. My arms ache to hold her when she is away.

My scrumptious niece, Brielle, is also a butter-ball of love. A cupcake. An absolute girly-girl of joyous proportions. I adore Brielle. My belle. Her uncle Jeff terrorized her as she tried to tolerate his loud noises. Jeff likes to be typically rough and tumble with babies. Ali squeals with joy when he makes Scooby-Doo noises at her but Brielle is terrified. I'll bet Brielle will grow into being a gracious and calm young lady. I hope my baby will be as good of a sleeper as she is.

Laney is in absolute love with her cousins. She would pull Ali around in her toy car until her arms fell off if it made her baby cousin happy. Laney is a very good nurturer and will be the best baby-sitter as she gets older. It's always sweet to watch Max and Laney interact with Brielle and Ali. They love their cousins so much and I think it'll be good for them to be surrounded by the love of their expanding family over the years.

Wedding Bliss

This weekend my dear friend, Harold, married his sweetheart, Amy in a simple yet elegant ceremony celebrating their love for one another. I'm so glad my favorite guy friend of all time found such a sweet and beautiful woman to share his life with. Harold has been known to rescue me from a couple of relationships gone sour and has always been the best "big brother" and buddy a gal could ask for. He's the most loyal guy in my life, a quality his best man toasted as we raised our glasses to honor him and his new wife.

The wedding feast was scrumptious as you can tell from this glorious creation of a cake. The colors were so vibrant...the wedding reception was romantic and nostalgic in tone as pictures flashed of the happy couple on a projector and love songs played softly in the background. Jeff & I unfortunately left as couples started taking to the dance floor since his family was in from out of town...but I'm so happy I got to celebrate with Harold. The lucky guy is now in Greece for the next two weeks with his bride.

Obviously I'm not much of a wedding person, having opted to elope myself! I've never been a fan of the trump and circumstance and the huge expense of a single day...But I kind of regret not having a big party to celebrate my marriage. I never look forward to wedding ceremonies but I always look forward to the reception. I told Jeff if we make it to our 10th anniversary, we're throwing a big bash to celebrate! Gosh, with everything we have going against us, it really would be cause for celebration if we made it that far with our love and sanity intact!
Pasted below is the scripture Harold and Amy had read before exchanging vows:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. --Colossians 3:12-17

Hawaiian Hot Dog

Last night I made the kids Hawaii's favorite snack: Spam Musubi. You can find it in any grocery store, gas station, deli, and most locally-owned fast-food places. Anyone who's grown up on the island should know how to whip up this snack. Jeff and I enjoy eating it every once in a while and he thought the kids would love it since it's basically Hawaii's version of a hot dog, but they absolutely gagged.

To make spam musubi, you need to cook about 3-4 cups of rice. Slice up spam (which is sold in a can in grocery stores) and marinade the sliced luncheon meat in a combination of soy sauce and brown sugar. Pan sear the meat until it's crispy on the edges.

Now comes the tricky part: Lay sheets of seaweed under a spam mold. Put enough rice inside the mold to fill half of it up, then put a slice of spam, then more rice to round it off on top. Release the mold and wrap the seaweed around the whole thing like a sandwich.

Max was absolutely disgusted by the seaweed wrap but he did say, "Well I don't like it. But it's much better than chicken!"

Responsibility & Respect

If you can't see this photo well it's because our camera broke and our flash is malfunctioning. We just purchased a new camera to replace the ancient one and while Jeff adores his new technology toy, I'm still trying to figure it out.
Max and Laney are surrounded by a heap of laundry in this picture because tonight they were assigned the task of folding laundry. "Dad, how do you fold underwear?" Laney kept asking. "I can't make these socks match," complained Max. We've decided to start phasing in chores around the house to teach the kids responsibility...and respect.
Tonight while game-playing, Laney said something to Jeff that he considered disrespectful. So he ordered her to her room. We discussed methods of punishment while she waited upstairs. Jeff suggested giving her the option of no dessert or a spanking. Well, I'm not a fan of physical punishment and I really wanted to make homemade donuts with the kids tonight...But I did recall having to write essays as a kid as punishment so I suggested that...on top of no reading before bedtime. I think kids need to cognitively process why their behavior is considered wrong and why it should be corrected. Laney flew downstairs and exclaimed, "I can't believe I have to write an essay!" to which Jeff replied, "Ok, is this response respectful?" (Oh, living with kids is never boring!). But Laney did a pretty good job and gave me permission to publish her page-long essay here:

Why We Should Respect Our Parents by Delaney Hopkins
We should respect our parents because they love us more than anything. Why should we disrespect them when they love us, respect us, feed us, buy us our needs and more. These are the things you shouldn't do that disrespect them: talk back, hit them, say you hate them, throw tantrums, or be mean to your brother and sister and stress them out. Also if they say not to do something don't do it. Of course everyone has done one of these things. But God doesn't want us to sin. In the Bible, there is a verse that says, "Children obey your parents." We should always obey God. And that is why we shouldn't disrespect our parents.

Living Proof Live

I had the pleasure of participating in Beth Moore's simulcast this weekend. Her message from a host site church in Louiville, Kentucky was beamed to 70,000 women in 49 states throughout America, in addition to a mission site in Guatemala and churches in Japan & Canada. Her theme? "100-Fold Word" based on Luke Ch. 8.

"4-8As they went from town to town, a lot of people joined in and traveled along. He addressed them, using this story: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. Some of it fell on the road; it was tramped down and the birds ate it. Other seed fell in the gravel; it sprouted, but withered because it didn't have good roots. Other seed fell in the weeds; the weeds grew with it and strangled it. Other seed fell in rich earth and produced a bumper crop.

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?"

9His disciples asked, "Why did you tell this story?"

10He said, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom—you know how it works. There are others who need stories. But even with stories some of them aren't going to get it:

Their eyes are open but don't see a thing,
Their ears are open but don't hear a thing.

11-12"This story is about some of those people. The seed is the Word of God. The seeds on the road are those who hear the Word, but no sooner do they hear it than the Devil snatches it from them so they won't believe and be saved.

Beth felt compelled to emphasize the importance of sowing the Word of God into our hearts, a pretty simple message made powerful given her spit-fire delivery.
Here's a crib sheet of the basic precepts she spelled out in her talk:
1. TREASURE THE WONDER. God's revelation is progressive in nature and His Word is God-breathed and fresh as though it's jumping from the pages into your heart.
2. PROTECT YOUR HEART. The devil will snatch the Word from your heart if you let him. Psalm 119:10-11 says to hide the Word of God in your heart. It's not up for grabs.
3. EXPECT THE TEST. God wants to prove us genuine to burn out the fake in us. When the season of testing exceeds the season of believing, we are heading for a season of falling.
4. DIG THE ROOTS. Take root below, bear fruit above. Live on the Word.
5. STOP THE CHOKE. Anxiety (the fear of losing control) chokes the Word out of us. The curative to anxiety is prayer.
6. RETAIN THE WORD. Sometimes God gives you DESTINY words concerning the path of your life or circumstances. Sometimes God gives you DAY words to sustain you in the morning, noon and night. Hold the Word as a vice grip in your heart.
7. PRESS FORTH TO YOUR 100-FOLD. It takes time to harvest the Word of God in your life. Sometimes we get side-tracked with Spiritual A.D.D. but we're called to press forth and hang in there when we most want to quit.

I was overcome with emotion, knowing that I was praising and praying with 70,000 women across the nation. Our God is amazing and I was grateful to be a part of the experience.