Love Languages

When Jeff and I were first dating, we read through "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. A lot of couples credit this book for enhacing their relationships. The author proposes that couples use five distinct languages to express and feel love. Those include:

Words of Affirmation
Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Quality Time
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Receiving Gifts
Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

Acts of Service
Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Physical Touch
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

My primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. I mostly feel loved by Jeff because he's always hugging and kissing me. Of course, Jeff insists he doesn't have a love language. He always has to be different! But I think EVERYONE has one.
Last night we had a heavy conversation and Jeff shared, "I feel like you complete me more than anyone ever has because you make me feel so good about myself and so self-confident. You're very affirming." Aha! I always make it a point to build Jeff up with words..."You look so cute today," "You're so godly and a great husband and father," etc. But I never knew it had such a profound effect on him. I'm just a talker so it's natural for me to give compliments...But I had no idea I was speaking Jeff's love language of words of affirmation.

Delaney's love language is quality time. She cries if I don't spend at least 30 min. a night talking to her & tucking her in. She always asks me for a girl's night out with just the two of us and I always brushed it off but I recently realized that it's important for her to connect with me in that way. So we're making plans for an outing this month.
Max is more of a puzzle. He loves gifts (I left a Spiderman Valentine in his back-pack and he was overjoyed) but what kid doesn't like presents? He likes hugs but he's not a hugger himself. I think he needs to feel like he's listened to and valued because his sister can be a little overpowering. I try to tell him what a good boy he is and what a good job he's doing.

Anyway, on this Valentine's Day I just encourage everyone to unlock the love languages of the people they love most to speak encouragement to their lives.

Heart Attack in a Bowl

I just made supper tonight: Brats & Beer Soup. I figured why not combine Jeff's two loves? He hasn't come home yet but I think he'd give this one a thumbs up. I love the flavor. But it's so bad for you, this might be the last time I make it this year. Plus, I'll have to think of an alternative for the kids. Anyway, if you'd like to try it, here's the recipe:

Brats & Beer Cheese Soup (approx. 45 min.)

(I believe I got it from Midwest Living magazine in honor of Wisconsin's food heritage)

1 Tbs margerine or butter
1 med. onion chopped
3 shallots chopped
1 med. carrot coarsely shredded
1 14. oz. can veggie broth
1/3 c. flour
1 c. whole milk
1 tsp. caraway seeds crushed
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tsp cayenne pepper (or to your liking)
1 pkg. smoked Bratwurst (halved and sliced...12-16 oz.)
10 oz. sharp cheddar cheese shredded
1 12-oz. can beer or bottle of ale

1. Heat margerine/butter--add onion, carrot, shallots, reduce to med. low. Continue to cook until onions are soft.
2. Mix broth and flour in a jar till smooth. Stir into onion mixture. Add milk, caraway seeds, and pepper. Cover on low heat for about 5 min, until it thickens. Gradually stir in cheese, reduce heat to med. low. Cook and stir until cheese melts. Do not boil!
3. Stir in the brats and beer. Cook on low for a little while...Then dash cayenne pepper for a kick. I like to add garlic powder as well. Makes 4-6 main course servings.

40 days of prayer update

While I have my share of struggles living in the Midwest, I don't take for granted the incredible Christian community that thrives here. I recently participated in a "Discovering Richwoods Christian Church 101 class" and my pastor cited a statistic that 50% of Peorians are "churched." To him, that's an overwhelmingly negative statistic. But I thought it was great news, having lived in the Northeast for so many years, where being a Christ follower is such an anomoly.
The mayor of Boston or even Bangor, Maine, would never call for 40 days of prayer to reduce violence. And even if they did, it wouldn't warrant news coverage. I pushed for a religion beat in Maine but was denied, being told it wasn't "relevant." Meanwhile in Peoria, I can't tell you how many pastors and other ambassadors of the Christian faith I interviewed because it speaks to the lives of so many who call Central Illinois home.
Below is an article update from the PJStar on the conclusion of the 40 Days of Prayer. What a blessing!

PEORIA: 40 Days of Prayer concludes

BY MIKE MACIAG of the Journal Star

PEORIA - There's been something out of the ordinary going on at corner of Main Street and Perry Avenue for the past 40 days.

Peorians from all religious backgrounds have gathered for the 40 Days of Prayer at the First United Methodist Church's Community Ministries Center to try to reduce the amount of crime in the city. On Friday night, about 300 people attended the final meeting to worship and pray for peace.

With a recent reduction in crime, they say their efforts are paying off.

"This 40 days of prayer has taken place without one incident," proclaimed the Rev. William Preston, pastor of City on a Hill Church.

In fact, there has not been a single homicide this year, down from four this time last year. The number of sexual assaults, robberies and aggravated assaults also all dropped more than 20 percent last month compared to January 2007, according to the Peoria Police Department.

"The devil is the only guy wishing it was a fluke," Mayor Jim Ardis told the crowd. Ardis got the idea for the prayer service from a similar event that was held in Orlando, Fla.

Although it began as an effort to reduce crime in Peoria, organizers say it has also united different faiths. More than 30 different pastors took turns leading the ceremonies.

The popularity of the event has made organizers decide to continue holding the prayer groups. Services will be March 14 and thereafter on the third Friday of each month at 6 p.m. in First United Methodist Church's community ministries center at 700 Main St. Other prayer groups also plan to meet regularly.

Mike Maciag can be reached at 686-3251 or mmaciag@pjstar.com.

From our kitchen to yours...

I'm out of things to blog about, so I'll just share a couple of easy recipes Jeff and the kids liked:

Swiss Cheese Chicken Casserole (Laney said it was yummy. Max hates everything chicken. Mom Hopkins would like this one):

4-6 chicken breasts
6 slices of Swiss Cheese
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/4 c. milk
2 c. Pepperidge Farm herb stuffing
1/4 c. butter (I think margerine would be an ok substitute)

Place chicken in casserole lightly greased. Place cheese on top of chicken. Mix soup and milk; pour over chicken. Cover mixture up with stuffing mix. Drizzle butter over crumbs. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes. I got this recipe from our dear small group leader Jada.

Chicken stuffed with sun-dried tomatoes and artichokes (Jeff liked it. I'm not a big tomato fan. I think Mom will like it).

4-6 chicken breast halves
1 12-oz. jar artichokes marinated
1 jar sun dried tomatoes packed in olive oil
1 cup Asiago cheese grated
1 Tbs Italian seasoning or Basil
2 Tbs olive oil

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Drain the artichokes and sun-dried tomatoes. Chop both coarsely and mix with the cheese and Italian seasoning. Cut a slit into chicken breasts and stuff it with cheese mixture and seal 'em back up. Sprinkle both sides of the chicken with salt and pepper and brown the breasts in olive oil in a skillet. Then, cover them with the remaining cheese mixture, and pop it in the oven until the chicken is cooked.
A similar recipe was featured in Bon Appetit magazine. I just adapted it to suit the ingredients we had at home. You can substitute the Asiago cheese for Fontina cheese...and you don't have to use the entire mixture if it's too much.

Super Tuesday

About four years ago, I had the privilege of taking part in a fellowship designed to inspire my generation to get involved in politics. A group of about 25 of us would meet bi-weekly on the campus of Harvard University to engage in debates, learn from lectures delivered by national political figures, and develop plans to bridge the gap between politics and community service. It was a blast. Aside from my husband, it was the highlight of my life.
I was the only idiot in the group surrounded by Ivy-league educated minds. I busted my butt to keep up with the banter, and often brushed off my workload at the State House to sail on the Charles River...I wouldn't trade that time for anything.
I recently reconnected with a couple of friends from my fellowship...one is an editor for a magazine in D.C., another friend is studying at Oxford, and the other is a Foreign Service Officer based in D.C. It just makes my heart glad to have spent a great stretch of life with people who are pro-actively pursuing their dreams to make the world a better place.
Today as I cast my ballot, I thought of the day my "fellowship friends" dispersed and said good-bye...We may never be that close again and it's hard to keep in touch with time commitments and family investments. But the dream that brought us together in the first place, that we could make a positive contribution to our country...that will never die. We're so lucky to live in such a blessed country...and I really hope our nation is prayerful about choosing our next leader.