No Looking Back

Genesis 19:26 But Lot's wife looked back and she became a pillar of salt.

I've been asking the Lord to reveal a Bible verse for me to meditate on during this season of my life. The verse above may seem like an odd choice, but the story of Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt keeps running through my mind as I pray.

The Bible says just before Lot's wife reached a place of safety, she disobeyed the angel's commands by looking back and she turned into a pillar of salt. The Bible isn't clear on exactly why she didn't listen to this seemingly simple command when her life was at stake. All we know is that she looked back with longing, perhaps with some regret, at what she was leaving behind.

Since becoming a wife and step-mom, I've often looked back at my old life with longing. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I made different choices during critical times in the past few months...If I didn't reconcile with Jeff and took that promising TV job in another state, what would life look like? What if I pursued my TV dreams in Hawaii? Would I be more fulfilled surrounded by the ocean and my family? Would I have fallen in love with someone else?

These thoughts run through my mind when I'm vulnerable and weighed down by past hurts...I dwell on what could've or should've happened. It doesn't serve any positive purpose other than drain my energy on the present.

So today Jeff prayed passionately to the Lord that He would redeem and restore our past and the choices we made that led us to where we are. Jeff asked the Lord to keep us focused on the blessings of the present and keep us looking forward to the future.

In this present state, I've got so much to rejoice in. I've got my salvation, my health, and an amazing husband who helps filter my thinking with the Word of God. And I'm looking forward to growing old with him and serving the Lord for many years to come.