Jeff the Dad

While I was getting ready to hang out with friends last night, I caught a glimpse of Jeff playing a silly game with Max, Laney, and her friend. I snapped a quick picture because I thought it was so cute. Jeff's such a great dad.
I hung out with some friends from church past midnight. The talk turned to the critical role fathers play in their children's lives. One woman shared an observation from our pastor that a majority of the wounds we feel as adults can be traced back to our relationship with our fathers. Pastor Jim said his many years of counseling has taught him to clue into childhood wounds inflicted by dads--the theory holds especially true for men, but is also true of women.
I thought that was interesting. In our culture, women tend to be held in the highest esteem as children's primary nurturers and source of love and well-being. Fathers are often viewed as tangential players who should cheer their kids on from the sidelines and provide for their material needs but aren't a critical part of their development. That's most clearly reflected during custody disputes in divorce cases. It's common for women to be awarded primary custody and child support while their fathers see them every other weekend. When I share Jeff's split custody situation with people, most are surprised that he sees his kids so often.
The court system is so biased--research indicates fathers are cited more than mothers in issues such as psychological maladjustment, substance abuse, depression, and conduct problems. On the flip side, a father's love provides a buffer against the development of these difficulties and can contribute to a child's good physical health.
One of the reasons I was so drawn to Jeff was because of his genuine love for his kids and desire to be an active, engaged part of their lives. His love is more sacrificial than most moms I know of...He felt they were so slighted during the divorce and wanted to make sure they were the main priority and felt safe and loved in his home.
I always tell the kids, "You're so lucky to have a dad who loves you and would literally do anything for you." I wish I had that. I know if I operated from that same foundation, I would've made different choices in my life and felt differently about myself.
Max and Laney may come from a broken home but they can rest assured that their Daddy loves them fully and has done everything to work out the Lord's redemption and restoration in their lives and will always be a consistent support of love.