Land of Lincoln

My parents arrived in Peoria last night. Jeff & I racked our brains for ideas to entertain them. We decided to spend the day in Springfield. Illinois is, after all, the land of Lincoln and a stop to Central Illinois would not be complete without a tour of our state's capital and stomping grounds of our favorite former president.

It was a real family affair since we opted to take the kids with us. Laney thought the "White House" exhibit was particularly fascinating. It's beautiful and touching as it moves you through the heartfelt years of the presidency and the conclusion of Lincoln's life. Max thought the museum was boring for the most part except for the gun-shot fires during the special effects show...and of course playing dress up with his big sister.

Max dressed up as Abraham Lincoln and Laney is dressed as Mary Todd.
I highly recommend the museum even for those who aren't traditional museum lovers, such as myself. I've toured tons of museums in New York City, Chicago, and Washington, D.C. but I have to say this museum is my favorite. It's a top-notch experience.

The exhibits are tastefully done and highly engaging, the treatment of modern technology and holograms are revolutionary, the two special-effects shows are riveting, and the wax figures featured throughout the museum really bring Lincoln's life and the American Civil War to life.

Pickle Game!

Jeff invented a fun way for the kids to earn their right to eat a treat before they go to bed. It's called the Pickle Game. The kids love and it and beg him to play. The kids choose either heads or tails before Jeff flips a quarter. If Laney or Max call "heads" and the quarter shows a heads they can go ahead and eat a treat. But if it's "tails" the kids have to eat a pickle covered with hot sauce. And they have to try again as Jeff flips the coin. It's pretty gross.

This is a picture of a pickle smothered in hot chili sauce. Even half a teaspoon by itself makes me gag. It's so potent. Looks like some squirted out in the wrong direction!

Laney chose the wrong side of the coin! I love her funny face!

"That's a-skusting!" shouts Max. Sometimes he cries when he has to eat a pickle even though he initiates playing the game.

Seafood Soup

About a month ago, I made a revised version of Cioppino (an Italian seafood stew) for dinner. Jeff raved over it but I improvised the recipe so much, I kind of forgot how to make it. So Jeff asked me to blog the recipe so I'll always remember how to make it. He claims it's his favorite soup and I really like it, too! As a warning, this recipe makes about 12 servings, so be sure to cook it in an extra large pot if you try it at home. It's also pretty expensive so I purchased frozen seafood to cut the cost. Don't be turned off by the long ingredient list! It's not too hard to make and I think it's worth it.

3 Tbs olive oil
3 Tbs butter
2 onions, chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced
2 (14.5 ounce) cans stewed tomatoes
1 can diced tomatoes
1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
1 can tomato paste
1 small can tomato sauce
1 32 oz. can chicken broth
3 bay leaves
1 Tbs. dried basil
1/2 Tbs. dried thyme
1/2 Tbs. dried oregano
1 cup water
1 cup sherry
2 pounds large shrimp (peeled and deveined)
2 pounds bay scallops
1 can whole clams
2 cans chopped clams
1 dozen mussels, cleaned and debearded
1 pound cod fillets, cubed
Salt and red pepper flakes to taste


Over medium-low heat, melt butter and olive oil in a large stockpot. Add onions and garlic and stir until onions are soft.
Add stewed tomatoes to the pot and break them up with a spoon as you add them in. Add tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, tomato paste, chicken broth, bay leaves, basil, thyme, oregano, water and sherry. Mix well. Add salt and red pepper flakes to taste. Cover and simmer 30 minutes.
Stir in the shrimp, scallops, clams, mussels. and fish. Bring to boil. Lower heat, cover and simmer 5 to 7 minutes.

Check out Jeff on TV

I invited my old work crew at WMBD-TV to do a little story on our Easter church service. Reporter Sarah Barwatcz showed up and interviewed some visitors & our pastor, and featured a clip of Jeff doing drama with our friend, Jada, during the service. It's pretty cute if you want to check it out. I'm sorry you'll have to copy and paste it:

http://centralillinoisproud.com/content/fulltext/?cid=6882

I'm impressed that Jeff was able to write the drama within a week's time and pulled it off only after a few rehearsals. A lot of sweat and tears go into producing a quality church service. I had no idea just how hard people worked behind the scenes before getting a first-hand look myself.

Make Way for Ducklings

Tonight Jeff and I took the kids out to dinner at the "Burger Barge." It's a great little hole-in-the-wall place along the river. There's even a little arcade section at the back of the restaurant for kids. Of course, Max insisted on trying to win a stuffed animal by maneuvering the crane. He lost and cried about it. As he wept in my lap, a woman came over to our table and tried to comfort him by suggesting he save his burger bun to feed the ducks outside. It cheered him up and he and Laney had a blast!

Max: "I felt something bite my butt! I think a duck bit my butt!"

Laney: "A goose bit my finger! It really bit my finger! Cool!"

While I watched Max and Laney feed the ducks, my thoughts flooded with wonderful memories of feeding ducks as a kid in Washington...and I really loved feeding ducks in Boston while attending college. The classic children's book "Make Way for Ducklings" is a story of mallards who raise their family in the Boston Public Garden, just minutes from where I attended college.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! I hope this collage of pictures and notes finds you well.

Easter was a packed day for our family. The alarm buzzed at 7am. Jeff had to report to church by 7:30 to rehearse a drama he wrote entitled "MaryAnn"--written to appeal to people who've made church a routine but missing the meaning. It was fabulous! In any case, I was hoping to sleep in, but I live in a house with two kids eagerly awaiting their treats from the Easter Bunny.

I could hear a scurry of footsteps by 7:30. The kids shot out of bed as soon as Jeff left the house and dragged me downstairs to open their baskets.

My friend said Max talked about his new Transformer kite in Sunday school today!

Laney loved her chocolate bunny...and her stretchy flying disk that lights up when you throw it!
I really enjoyed the church service this year. It's such a wonderful reminder of the Lord's incredible grace for us and how we can find purpose in the midst of our sinful lives by knowing Him.
I had the privilege of serving in the welcome center and met fifteen people who were interested in knowing more about how to get more connected to my home church, which was a big blessing. Jeff and I also enjoyed a yummy brunch with our dear Bible study friends.

Max made for a fabulous helper in the kitchen. He and I baked a cornbread casserole to contribute to the brunch. Laney took this picture as we fooled around with butter and sour cream.

Doesn't this look appetizing? Don't worry--I made sure Max washed his hands before baking!
Our host spoiled the kids with even more goodies and we hid eggs in her backyard for the kids to find.

This is Max holding a basket of eggs in the midst of hunting for them. I couldn't get a good shot of Laney because she kept racing around. It was hard to keep up with them--they were very competitive in the hunt. We hid 30 plastic eggs and about 18 hard-boiled eggs!
It was a beautiful day although the weather was confused between spring and winter. It was alternately sunny and snowy...But such is life in the Midwest in March. It doesn't matter anyway. Jeff & I are so beat, we just want to bundle up and call it a night...grateful for family and friends who are just like family...and especially grateful for the grace of our Heavenly Father.

Amazing Grace

Max wrote a thank you card today in response to receiving a wonderful Easter gift from his aunt. It took a while for him to understand the concept and even longer for him to write it out since he can barely read! Here's our dialogue:
Max: Why do I have to make a card if it's not her birthday?
Me: It's not a birthday card. It's a thank you card to say you're grateful for your presents.
Max: But I already said thank you.
Me: That's good but you also need to write a letter saying thank you, too.
Max: But why?
Me: Just because.
Max: Because why?
Me: Because it shows you have manners!
I was raised by a mother who would not let me play with my Christmas presents until I wrote all my thank-you notes to friends and relatives who gave me gifts. As an adult, it's still my knee-jerk reaction to do the same thing and I'd like to encourage that etiquette in the members of my household.
I couldn't fully explain to Max why it's important to write and send thank you's in addition to saying it out loud. I just know that nothing fully communicates the depth of your gratitude than someone taking the time to write out a card detailing how much their gift meant to them and why.
The decline of basic manners among children in our current culture is alarming to me. It makes me sad when I hear kids talk back to their parents, use foul language, and refuse to share. On the flip side, I'm a lot more hopeful when I see respectful kids who are loving to their friends and family, diligent at school and say please and thank you.
Studies have shown that kids who learn to exercise good manners have a greater chance at becoming respectful and respectable adults. And kids are most receptive to learning how to be polite between the ages of 2-5 years-old.
As a new step-mom I try to be careful about how much to correct the kids or encourage them in the way of being respectful. But there are some basic things I want to enforce increasingly over time, like:
1. Saying please and thank you often.
2. Cleaning up after themselves whether at home or at a friend's house.
3. Not interrupting others when they speak.
4. No name calling!
5. Greet guests who come over for dinner by at least saying hello at the door.
6. Learning to be pleasant whether they win or lose a game. (Which is hard in a Hopkins' home where things can get explosive when it comes to games!)
7. Saying "you're welcome" when someone says thank you.
8. Respecting the thoughts and differences of other people.
9. Opening doors for other people--I think it's especially important for boys to learn.
10. Learning to share and making the needs of others a priority.

Easter Egg Fun

The egg is a universal symbol of new life. This Easter I'm looking forward to celebrating the holiday with my new family and friends.

Showing off their artistry in decorating Easter eggs!

It takes multiple colors of dye to satisfy the kids. They complained 80 stickers weren't enough to cover their eggs!

Look at the colorful creations! And Laney's blue hands! It took lots of soap and my scrubbing her hands with a toothbrush to get the dye out! It was hilarious!

My Husband, My Hero

I thought I was going to die tonight.
It started off as a tease...Jeff & I were standing in the kitchen and I playfully scolded him for being impatient with me...So to get him to apologize, I put the last two chocolate chip cookies behind my back and started breaking off little pieces and putting them in my mouth. "Mmmmmm" I would tease "You better be nicer to me!"...Jeff protested and screamed each time I popped another cookie piece in my mouth. After two bites, he lurched at me to get the cookies behind my back. Meanwhile, I tossed a cookie chunk into my mouth and IT MADE ITS WAY DOWN MY THROAT--WHOLE!!!
I dropped the last cookie on the floor and heaved. Jeff thought I was joking initially but I literally could not breathe. It was the scariest feeling. I couldn't cough, swallow, or speak. Finally, Jeff performed the Hiemlich Maneuver on me. A few abdominal thrusts later, most of the cookie came out.
I continued gagging and heaving a while afterwards. Jeff just said, "Real attractive, Miko. Nice." Of course, he just wanted to watch TV, make out and move on. And that's what we did.
As I'm typing this in bed, I'm listening to the sweet sound of my husband snoring. Talk about attractive! But seriously, I just love being near him. I love watching time rest on his face...snuggling next to him as I try to sleep...feeling safe, loved and really contented. I just love breathing his air.

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall...

99 bottles of beer...take one down and pass it around...98 bottles of beer on the wall.
This silly song kept running through my head this morning as I went downstairs and saw Jeff happily bottling his beer. The biggest gift mistake I've ever made was purchasing a beer-making kit for his birthday. I'd take it away but (a) I'm not his mother and (b) It gives him such joy and satisfaction. But not to worry, Mom--I closely monitor his alcohol intake. He can't have more than one bottle a night. And to his credit, he gives a lot away to friends and neighbors. Still, it creates an absolute mess as you can see:

Jeff at the start of his bottling process...He's so happy. His toy is hard to withhold.

Clamping down on the bottle cap.

Oh, no! A spill. One of many...dominating the kitchen. I just mopped and scrubbed to welcome company. Jeff will be cleaning up for the next hour.

Home Sweet Home

This is a picture of Jeff in heaven. He's addicted to the TV show, "Lost," and has since gotten me hooked as well. So he insisted on going to the place where the pilot scene was filmed--Mokuleia Beach. There were some remnants of black tire material scattered on the beach--I wonder whether it was left over from the filming of it?

Now this is a picture of ME in heaven. In Hawaii, I never miss a sunset. Especially if I'm near an ocean. It's a spiritual experience. Nothing has ever come close for me to feel so connected to the Lord. I think Hawaii is the prettiest place on earth. When I attended a boarding school and needed to be alone, I'd sneak out to watch the sun setting over the Manoa Valley. If I felt daring, I'd take a bus to the Ala Moana beach and stay until the sun set. Great memories.

This was taken at Turtle Bay. I love this hotel. Right now the rooms average about $500 a night but the rates were a lot lower when I was a kid! It was a favorite vacation spot for my family so I really wanted to revisit it and share it with Jeff. Jeff and I were a little bad and snuck into the hot tub for a while before heading out.

Make Room for Miko

The other night before our devotional time, Jeff instructed Laney to "make room for Miko" on the couch. He glanced up at me and said, "Hey--that should be the title of our sitcom family life. Make room for Miko!" Laney squealed, "Yeah! It'll be about how the Miko Mom tries to fit into the family!"
Therein lies the rub of life in the blender. My role as step-mom is to accommodate the needs of the people who pre-dated my marriage. It can be great. It can also be a headache.
I knew the logistics of the life I signed up for when Jeff & I exchanged vows. But I was not prepared for the emotional extremities of the situation--how I could fall into an emotional pit one day and feel like I've fallen in love with my step-kids and husband the next.
There's not a one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with a blended family. Each unit is as unique as its members. And I don't know how on earth anyone gets through it without putting Christ at the center!
The bottom line is this: I'm learning to let go of my idealistic fantasies of what life could or should be like. I'm trying to embrace where I'm at, along with embracing Jeff and the kids. I've learned to give without thinking of what I'm getting in return. The challenges are real and I've got to give myself grace and space in the transition.
I try to fill myself with the Lord so that I'm not resentful of the push and pull of demands on my time and heart. I also try to maximize my enjoyment of these great kids in my life and relish the love of my husband who reminds me every day in his special way how much he adores me. I've never felt so nurtured and loved in my life.
For a while I privately questioned whether I made the right choice. I really believe the Enemy can do a number on our minds. Sometimes he tangles my thoughts with doubt. But I've just got to replace that with the truth that the Lord can redeem and restore any situation, it's God's will for our marriage to withstand the test of time, and I love my husband deeply and I know he loves me.

Kid Talk

Some "Maxisms" I don't want to forget:
1. That's a-skusting! (Disgusting)
2. Pupcakes are the best! (Cupcakes)
3. What up yo?
4. Dude...that's awesome dude!
5. I don't eat chicken, I don't eat turkey, I don't eat fish, and I really don't eat stir fry!
Laney Phrases:
1. What in the world?
2. You say you love us both. But am I really your favorite?
3. Sharks are not dangerous. More people die in car accidents than in shark attacks.
4. Stop temptating me! (This one always makes me laugh but she hasn't said it in a while).

My Dinner Wish-List

A handful of years ago, one of my girlhood dreams came true. I was sipping wine across the dinner table from Naomi Wolf (pictured above), the woman who's credited with launching a new wave of feminism in the 1990s. She's an acclaimed writer of "The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women" among other noted publications. I was mesmerized by her searing blue eyes, her wit, and piercing intelligence. I'm not a drinker by nature (I can barely hold down half a glass of wine) but I couldn't say no as Naomi kept re-filling my glass because I desperately wanted to be her equal.
I wasn't alone at the dinner table. I was accompanied by other women who traveled to upstate New York on a leadership scholarship to spend the weekend with Naomi and a crew of professionals designed to give us the real deal on how to succeed as professionals in the workplace, how to get in touch with our feelings and process our past, and how to give a hand out to other women.
When the retreat came to a close, Naomi invited those who were interested to spend yet another weekend at her personal cabin. She offered to prepare all the meals but asked for personal space as she worked on a memoir of her father. I had work obligations that prevented me from going but she graciously gave me her phone number if I changed my mind.
I was in heaven! I remember calling all my friends to brag that I her personal contact info. I've never felt so close to a celebrity. It's neat to be in close proximity to someone you so admire. Jeff has been hounding me to invite people from church to our home for dinner...But if I had my way I'd invite the following people over:
1. Amy Grant--I've flown to Texas and back just to meet her backstage and attend a coffee/continental breakfast she hosted for her Fan Club. I endured the stomach flu while taking pictures and talking to her. It was a dream.
2. Beth Moore--My favorite Bible study leader. She's so dynamic and I highly recommend her blog. Great stuff.
3. Marie Osmond--I got to interview her via satelite two years ago. I propped up her dolls on my lap while talking to her. I was sweating so much and was so nervous, my doll's velvet dress was drenched. It was worth it all.
4. Anderson Cooper--CNN anchor. I want to BE Anderson Cooper. I highly recommend his book, "Dispatched from the Edge."
5. Bono--Who's cooler than Bono? All U2 fans need to see U2-3D.
6. Maria Shriver--Great reporter, great hair. She gave it all up to support her husband as governor. I always want to ask her: Was it worth it?
7. Barack Obama--Right now he's Hawaii's pride and joy. If he doesn't get the Democratic bid, I'll be sick.
8. The Makers of Settlers of Catan--I want Jeff to get into the game business. He'd be so good at it. This game has changed our lives!
9. Aaron Sorken--What's up with the cancellation of Studio 60? I want Matt and Harriet to get married!
10. Anne LaMott--Love her writing. Gotta love the Ham of God.

Easter Bunny

Laney raced down the stairs tonight and exclaimed, "Miko! Max went into your bedroom and saw the Easter baskets!"
NO KIDS IN THE MASTER BEDROOM is a rule I established soon after I moved in to maintain some semblance of privacy. During our first week of marriage, I was often awakened by the kids crawling into bed with me, screaming in my face. "MORNING MIKO! I CAN SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR!", and playing hide-and-seek in my closet. Not fun for me!
So the kids understand going into my room is a no-no. Especially this week, as I am in the process of creating their Easter baskets. Candy , toys and plastic eggs are scattered under a desk in our bedroom. I reminded the kids not to enter.
So here is the dialogue between me and Max:
Me: "You knew it was wrong not to enter my room. Why did you do it?"
Max: "Because I forgot!"
Me: "Did you see any Easter baskets in my room?"
Max: "Yes but I only saw Laney's!"
Me: "Really? But they were together! Are you telling me the truth?"
Max: "Well...ok, I saw them both. But I don't remember them!"
Me: "I love you but I need you to listen to me, not lie to me, and not enter my room again. I'm going to return everything and buy new things."
Max: "But don't get rid of the Transformer kite!"

Ah, kids...So sneaky! Jeff deprived Max of his candy treat tonight for lying. I think the jig is up with the Easter Bunny, too. Does that mean they still need baskets? :) All the expense, all the work...but it's a fun tradition. I keep hinting to Jeff that I'd like an Easter basket, too.

The Short End of the Stick

Jeff accused me of stretching the truth when I insisted ABC news conducted a study that indicated women prefer tall men to short men no matter their accomplishments.
It may be a superficial fact of life but unfortunately it's the truth. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but in general I do believe women at least prefer men who exceed them in height.
So I'm posting the following reporting of John Stossel entitled "The Ugly Truth About Beauty":

Evolution may have led women to prefer taller men.

Women will take just about any shortcoming in a man, except in the height department, according to Andrea McGinty, who founded the San Diego-based dating service "It's Just Lunch."

McGinty helped ABC NEWS put together an experiment to test just how willing women are to date shorter men. We brought together several short men and asked them to stand next to taller men. We invited groups of women to look at the men and choose a date.

To see if the women would go for short guys who were successful, ABCNEWS' Lynn Sherr created extraordinary résumés for the shorter men. She told the women that the shorter men included a doctor, a best-selling author, a champion skier, a venture capitalist who'd made millions by the age of 25.

Nothing worked. The women always chose the tall men. Sherr asked whether there'd be anything she could say that would make the shortest of the men, who was 5 feet, irresistible. One of the women replied, "Maybe the only thing you could say is that the other four are murderers." Another backed her up, saying that had the taller men had a criminal record she might have been swayed to choose a shorter man. Another said she'd have considered the shorter men, if the taller men had been described as "child molesters."

The desire for tall men begins very young, apparently. ABCNEWS gave elementary school students a test, asking them to match a small, medium or large figure of a man with a series of words. The kids overwhelmingly linked the tall figure to the words strong, handsome and smart. The linked the short figure to the words sad, scared and weak. More than half of the kids also chose to link the short figure to the words, dumb, yucky and no friends.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=123853&page=2

For Men Only

I enthusiastically recommend this book as required reading for all men.
I just purchased it for Jeff and although he's only gotten through the first three chapters, it's given him greater insight into my heart, the way I'm wired, and how to feed my needs.
Here are a few points the author hammers home:

1. Even if your relationship is great, your mate likely has a fundamental insecurity about your love and when insecurity is triggered, she may respond in ways that confuse or dismay you until she feels reassured.
2. Women deal with multiple emotions from the past and present all the time and at the same time--and these can't be easily dismissed.
3. Your woman needs emotional security and closeness with you so much that she'll endure financial insecurity to get it.
4. Saying "I do" doesn't bring permanent emotional closure to the ever-persistent question: "Do you really love me?"

Jeff thought I was just another emotional basket case before flipping through these pages and understanding that many women are wired in the same way. As a result of this eye-opening insight, he's been incredible affirming of his love for me. Every night when he returns home I'm greeted with some variation of, "How is my beautiful Dearheart? The most beautiful woman in the world who I love more than anything?"
If I want to talk about a recurring issue for the upteenth time, he'll patiently listen and engage in the conversation, even though it's not his preference.
I just feel like this book did our marriage a lot of good...but of course, you'll need a spouse willing to take what he's learned from it and put it into action! :)

Weekend to Remember

This weekend Jeff and I had the privilege of attending a marriage conference sponsored by Family Life called "Weekend to Remember." The speakers shared their thoughts on creating a timeless blueprint for marriage, maintaining commitment and communication, & romance and resolving conflict. While it was a good refresher course for us, sometimes the generalities of the topics left me wanting for something more. But nonetheless, the principles taught hold true and we gleaned some meaningful insights into areas that could potentially breakdown communication between the two of us.

A couple of times during the conference, I'd look over at Jeff and there would be tears streaming down his face. I'm always compelled when he's moved to tears because I'm definitely the more emotional of the two of us. The topic of faithfulness cuts him to the core. I excused myself to go to the restroom at one point and Jeff followed me into the hallway and said, "I just want that for us more than anything. To know that no one's leaving, we'll love each other no matter what, and we will be faithful."

Some people attending the conference, like Jeff, experienced the pain of their spouse having an extra-marital affair. I don't know how Jeff learned to rebuild trust after such a betrayal, but it hit me in a hard way that I need to be more sensitive to his fear of my leaving and not even fantasize about escaping when things get tough. Because thoughts turn into words...and words turn into actions...and actions turn into habits...and habits turn into our character.

Speaking of character, I believe that's Jeff best quality. A dear friend recently commented, "Your husband is so noble. I love that about him." I agree. He's the only guy I know through and through that I can take to the character stand in front of the Lord anyday. He does the right thing at his own expense, he's so transparent and true...and despite our difficulties, I know I'm so lucky to have him.

God's design for marriage is really quite simple but we often complicate things when life gets messy. Half of all marriages end in divorce and Christians are just as likely to be culprits of broken families as non-believers. It's especially sad when you consider the fact that we're called to reflect Christ and His body through the context of marriage and to create a godly legacy.

This conference was a great reminder that amid the unglamorous, daily grind in our relationships, we're called to reflect God's glory and that is the greatest thing we can do.