Amazing Grace

Max wrote a thank you card today in response to receiving a wonderful Easter gift from his aunt. It took a while for him to understand the concept and even longer for him to write it out since he can barely read! Here's our dialogue:
Max: Why do I have to make a card if it's not her birthday?
Me: It's not a birthday card. It's a thank you card to say you're grateful for your presents.
Max: But I already said thank you.
Me: That's good but you also need to write a letter saying thank you, too.
Max: But why?
Me: Just because.
Max: Because why?
Me: Because it shows you have manners!
I was raised by a mother who would not let me play with my Christmas presents until I wrote all my thank-you notes to friends and relatives who gave me gifts. As an adult, it's still my knee-jerk reaction to do the same thing and I'd like to encourage that etiquette in the members of my household.
I couldn't fully explain to Max why it's important to write and send thank you's in addition to saying it out loud. I just know that nothing fully communicates the depth of your gratitude than someone taking the time to write out a card detailing how much their gift meant to them and why.
The decline of basic manners among children in our current culture is alarming to me. It makes me sad when I hear kids talk back to their parents, use foul language, and refuse to share. On the flip side, I'm a lot more hopeful when I see respectful kids who are loving to their friends and family, diligent at school and say please and thank you.
Studies have shown that kids who learn to exercise good manners have a greater chance at becoming respectful and respectable adults. And kids are most receptive to learning how to be polite between the ages of 2-5 years-old.
As a new step-mom I try to be careful about how much to correct the kids or encourage them in the way of being respectful. But there are some basic things I want to enforce increasingly over time, like:
1. Saying please and thank you often.
2. Cleaning up after themselves whether at home or at a friend's house.
3. Not interrupting others when they speak.
4. No name calling!
5. Greet guests who come over for dinner by at least saying hello at the door.
6. Learning to be pleasant whether they win or lose a game. (Which is hard in a Hopkins' home where things can get explosive when it comes to games!)
7. Saying "you're welcome" when someone says thank you.
8. Respecting the thoughts and differences of other people.
9. Opening doors for other people--I think it's especially important for boys to learn.
10. Learning to share and making the needs of others a priority.